Pebbles the agony-uncle-cat of The Divine Feline has the answers.

Dear Pebbles,

I can’t seem to get a good photograph of my cat, Purrito. He is cute as a button but whenever I try to take a photo of him he looks down, or away, or rolls over and starts licking his tushy. The only good photographs I ever get of him are when he is sleeping. What should I do?

Yours sincerely,

Defeated

Dear Defeated,

You are giving up too easily! When it comes to getting a feline to co-operate, you have to accept the probability of a high failure rate. Photography, cats, and impatience do not go well together. As Purrito is unlikely to change, you must learn to be more patient.

Firstly, try to understand things from Purrito’s point of view. In cat-land, we live eternally in the present moment. What are we hearing, right now? We are we seeing, right now? Do we feel like sleeping or pooping, right now? We have no understanding of your incessant need for documentation, or your hunger for preserving certain moments for posterity. And, as we highly approve of ourselves, we see no need to impress others with pictures of ourselves on social media.

You must also remember that cats are not ‘fast-posing’ supermodels. Furthermore, unlike Derek Zoolander, we don’t spend four to eight hours a day looking in the mirror and perfecting ‘a tilt of the head or a furrow’. The only pose we are naturally good at is the indecisive ‘Look at me, don’t look at me’ kind.

If you want Purrito to pose, you will have to show him that there is something in it for him. Supermodel Naomi Campbell famously claimed that she didn’t get out of bed for less than $10,000 dollars a day. So why should Purrito? Rather than demanding he pose this way or that, give him enormous amounts of praise and flattery and see what he does naturally.

This will most likely result in a better photograph that captures his personality. Offer him treats the same way supermodels are offered champagne at photoshoots to get him in the mood. Catch his eye with an interesting toy, so he looks at the camera lens as you snap him.

It’s very important that you take into account cat minutes: What seems to be taking a long time to you, is definitely going on way too long for Purrito. When he seems to be getting bored by the session, rather than get impatient, take a break and give Purrito lots of pats and scratches under the chin, until he is back in the mood again.

Other tips from the experts include:

💗 Use the ‘photo burst’ function on your phone, so even if Purrito moves from his pose, you still might get a good shot

💗 Always take photographs in a brightly lit room to avoid the flash upsetting Purrito’s sensitive eyes

💗 Getting down to Purrito’s eye level will result in a better photograph (I mean, remember your place, Defeated. Don’t look down on him!)

💗 Use the selfie function on your phone and face it towards Purrito while you stand some distance away with a remote button. Purrito will be curious to see himself on the screen and won’t even know a picture is being taken.

But most importantly, remember the reason you are taking a picture of Purrito in the first place: You love him! If despite your best efforts, Purrito continues to give you awkward, unflattering photographs, then love him even more for all his goofy glory!

Best of luck!

Pebbles 🐾

To read more of Pebble’s advice regarding feline behaviour, check out The Divine Feline: A Chic Cat Lady’s Guide to Woman’s Best Friend

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