Pebbles the agony-uncle-cat of The Divine Feline has the answers.

Dear Pebbles,

I am having a problem with my cat, Chompers. He has a foot fetish. When I am pottering around the house, he will launch at me from under the couch and nip at my feet. He sometimes attacks my toes when I’m lying in bed.

He has drawn blood on several occasions. I thought things were bad enough until I threw a dinner party last week and Chompers launched his surprise attacks at my guests. Everybody ended up sitting on their chairs with their feet tucked under them. What should I do? I’ve resorted to wearing gumboots around the house and dining alone.

Bonkers about Chompers

Dear Bonkers about Chompers,

It might interest you to know that studies have shown that children grow into their names due to societal prejudices. For instance, people expect a girl named ‘Katharine’ to become more successful than one named ‘Bonnie’;  and a boy named ‘Bob’ to be fatter than one named ‘Tim’. I suggest that if you are the sort of guardian who named your cat ‘Chompers’ instead of something like ‘Fenston’ or ‘Gustav’ or even ‘Mr Floof’, that playtime with Chompers as a kitten might have been a little – ahem – too vigorous? I thoroughly discourage rough play with kittens if you don’t want an adult cat that bites. Your kitten should be chomping on its toys, never your hands or feet.

But whether that was the case, or whether Chompers arrived on your doorstep as a fully-fledged foot terrorist, the solutions are the same. The first thing to understand is that there are three main reasons why cats bite feet:

1. We want to play and are not getting enough stimulation

2. We are scared (Aggression in cats is usually triggered by fear and stress or sometimes pain).

3. We want your attention – and biting your feet gets it

The first cause is the simplest to solve. Provide Chompers with toys and spend time playing with him. For instance, if Chompers tends to bite your feet when you are making dinner, turn on an interactive toy to satisfy his need for stimulation. Make time to play with Chompers at regular times, for example, just before you go to bed, so he begins to anticipate these scheduled occasions.

Sometimes a cat ambushes you because it is stressed. Many things that you take for granted can cause anxiety in us, such as open plan living or the presence of other pets. The simplest way to reduce a cat’s stress is to provide it a bed where it feels safe (on top of a cupboard where it can observe the world for instance) and to spritz the air daily with synthetic cat pheromones. For a full explanation of how to reduce stress in your cat, I recommend you read: The Divine Feline: A Chic Cat Lady’s Guide To Woman’s Best Friend by authoress, Belinda Alexandra.

Chompers could also be seeking your attention with his negative behaviour. When he bites your foot, he gets the satisfaction of hearing you yelp and seeing you hopping around on one leg. I suggest you retrain Chompers the same way a skilled parent redirects an aberrant child: Ignore the bad behaviour and reward the good. When Chompers seeks your attention in a positive way – greeting you at the door with a ‘Mrrh! or butting his head against you while you are watching television, reward the behaviour with praise, lots of pats and even a treat. When he bites your feet, try not to react at all. Under no circumstances leap out of bed and make him breakfast, otherwise he will learn biting is what gets him fed. You have to ignore him. Which, I’m afraid, Bonkers about Chompers, means that until your kitty is retrained, you may be wearing gumboots at home for some time yet.

Pebbles 🐾

Pebbleton Auden Thompson III – affectionately known as ‘Pebbles’ – offers more of his sage advice in: The Divine Feline: A Chic Cat Lady’s Guide To Woman’s Best Friend . He is definitely a cat that ‘grew’ into his name.

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